THE games for the new rules over the weekend had all the drama of a plate of warm scones, though the final was fun. To be fair, I played in an All-Star game in Donegal after they won the All-Ireland and scored 1-2 in the first half against the most fearsome defensive formula the game has ever seen.

The games were a bit of a chuckle for the players, with no one taking it too seriously, like the Harlem Globetrotters. But they served their PR purpose, by introducing the public to the new rules in a way that hinted at lots of scoring and more open play. Also, their novelty should not scare us, and won’t. This is because everyone agrees that something must be done to rescue the game.

Saturday night week ago on RTÉ2, they showcased another repulsive, vile, evil spectacle – the Derry Senior semi-final between Rossa and Newbridge. Less than 500 spectators turned out to watch it. Marty Morrissey did his best to polish it, but one cannot polish a giant turd.

The Mayo senior county final is this Saturday, between Ballina Stephenites and Knockmore. Last year, these two heavyweights of Mayo football met in the semi-final in Crossmolina. There was huge excitement, as the people in the county remembered their vastly satisfying battles from the past. The game – with a full house – was excrement.

As they hand-passed the ball amongst themselves, the crowd was silent. In beautiful sunshine and perfect conditions, we chatted among ourselves. At the Knockmore AGM a few months later, members were enraged about what had become of our game and made their feelings clear.

Now, the two teams are in the final again. So, on Monday night, the glamorous brunette and I delved into the past, just to see if our memory was playing tricks on us.

The 1996 Mayo final between Knockmore and Ballina on YouTube. Coca Cola, popcorn, lights, action. A packed Crossmolina ground, kids climbing onto the roof of the clubhouse and a fever of excitement.

The ball was thrown in and they went at it. Huge scores, big hits, the crowd roaring. Knockmore went off like a train, the Bomber Brogan kicking points from everywhere, Kevin O’Neill displaying his original array of dainty skills, Shane ‘Red’ Sweeney scoring a brilliant goal from a dazzling quick move from defence to attack.

Then, the Ballina comeback, led by a jinking Paul McStay and Dennis Coen. Entering the final quarter, the commentator (a very young Mike Finnerty with a very strong Ballinrobe accent) was hoarse and the crowd was at fever pitch. At the final whistle Knockmore were champions. We shook our heads, looked at each other on the sofa and agreed that we had remembered correctly. This epic battle was 1-10 to 1-8, but it was stirring. Heart-warming.

What made it so satisfying were the man-to-man contests. Defenders breaking out and moving the ball quickly. Kicking quickly to the inside forwards. It was the intensity of the battle. It made us yearn for that again. Like the way we yearn when we watch the hurling and its contests and manliness and physical courage.

The contests are the secret to our game. They are what fuelled its rise, from the early days of pitched battles when the ball was not essential, to organised tournaments at every level. They are its purpose. It’s core. They are what excite us. What inspires us. And contests, I fear, are what have been missed by Jim’s committee.

There were no contests in the weekend’s games. Not a hand was laid on anyone. The sweeper was quickly in position. The defensive team dropped off after the kick-out. The kick-outs were mostly short (they only need to travel 20 metres with the new rule). The defensive team fanned out inside and around the 40-metre arc. And this after one or two sessions together and a fun gather up.

Of course there were loads of scores, but this wasn’t Jimmy McGuinness’ Donegal or Malachy O’Rourke’s Tyrone or Kieran McGeeney’s Armagh after three months of intensive sessions. The 11 outfield players and goalie will still create a formidable zonal defence. David Clifford and Con O’Callaghan will still be double marked. The ball will still be played laterally and backwards around the middle third and outside the 40-metre arc. Teams will probe for a score just like before, trying to break down the zonal defence.

I raised this fear with Jim. He agreed – as he must – that their proposals leave the zonal defence intact. I asked him what the point of all this was then? He said it weakened the zone by reducing the number of potential defenders from 14 to 11, but that the view of the committee was that to remove zonal defending would lead to mismatches. That permitting a watered down zone would allow lesser teams to compete. Which is of course a fallacy.

Under the current rules, which allow a 14-man zonal defence, lesser teams have remained relentlessly lesser. The watershed for the new Frankenstein version of Gaelic football was 2011/2012. Since then, Dublin have won eight All-Irelands, Kerry two, Tyrone one and Armagh one.

Inequality is a fact of life in our games, so long as we continue to operate the county system, where a county of 30,000 people (Leitrim) competes in the same system as Dublin (1,600,000). In fact, prior to Jimmy McGuinness taking the game hostage, there were fewer mismatches and more teams making breakthroughs.

As a result of this flaw, I fear the point of Gaelic football has been missed. True, there are improvements, and they are welcome, but of the seven primary rules, save for rule three, they are tweaks.

The reason there is a review of the rules is because of the zonal defensive system and its destruction of the whole point of the game. The 3v3 in each half rule is not a solution to this at all. It merely dilutes the number of sweepers and zonal defenders to 11, from 14. The other proposals are attractive, but with the exception of rule three (the goalie pass rule) what is the point of multiple tweaks that do not tackle the problem? Let’s go through rules one to seven (leaving rules three and five aside for the moment):

1. The throw in is now 1v1 – a gimmick. 2. The kick out now has to be five metres longer. 4. A player fouled can solo and go, like rugby, which is an exciting change. 6. The new forward mark only applies for a kick outside the 45 m line caught inside the 20 – neither here nor there. The mark is bollocks wherever it is won. 7. A point from outside the 40 is two points, which is good but again decorative rather than substantial. Teams will be a little more careful about fouling out there, equalling even less contact. A goal is four points, which is good, but the goal area will be swamped by teams. Think Jimmy.

The only one of the seven rules of real substance is rule three (the pass to the keeper), which stops keep ball in the defensive half but allows it in the attacking half. The stated reason that the goalie is allowed to take part in the play in the opposing half is to help create an opening through zonal defences, which is surely an admission of guilt?

On the other hand, the new cynical/tactical foul/dissent penalties and the stop clock are excellent, with the ball being brought forward 50 metres and teams no longer able to slow the game down and drive us all mad.

I also very much like the new black card offence of deliberately holding up a player – teams had become expert in this and were obviously practising it in training. This was another game killer, now gone.

I also very much like the rule that, like rugby, the team captain will be allowed to speak to the referee to seek clarification of any decision. This encourages real respect and allows the team captain to be treated with dignity and equality. The proposal that the ball must be handed respectfully to an opponent when a free is conceded is pure Jim and made me chuckle, reminding me of an altar boy dutifully ringing the bell when the priest gives him the nod.

My proposals were simple and ignored. Two rules. Simple, proper solutions to the two linked problems that have ruined the game.

1. The keeper cannot accept a pass from a team-mate.

2. Only man-marking is allowed inside the 40-metre arc before the ball travels inside it. Two defenders would be allowed inside this arc to start with, whether a forward is in there or not, to prevent eg David Clifford being in there on his own versus one man and the ball being kicked long to him in oceans of space. Inevitably, two forwards will go in there to play as the inside danger men, so those two defenders would then have to man-mark them. After that, if the attacking team want to put a third player inside the arc before the ball arrives, then a third defender is allowed to man mark him. Once the ball is inside the arc, everything goes.

All this does is restore the starting point of an attack to what it was before Jimmy – i.e. man-marking inside the danger zone and the attacking team can kick the ball to the inside forward.

These two simple proposals would have kept the spirit and flow of the game intact and enforced contests, which were the very thing that made us fall in love with the game in the first place.

The thing that made kids climb up onto the roof of the Crossmolina clubhouse to get a glimpse of the 1996 Mayo final in all its rugged glory.