John Hughes is confused by the GPA’s partnership with Avonmore

By John Hughes

American Pyscho is a wonderful piece of literature. It chronicles the descent of its main character, Patrick Bateman – Derry relations possibly, from the precipice of mere wanton bloodlust into ever more unbridled depths of full blown murderous psychosis.

Brett Easton Ellis’s flash of genius is to tell the tale against the backdrop of the banality of late 1980s culture. Bateman’s spiral into the pit of homicidal insanity almost seems a natural response to society where surface substitutes for substance.

For some bizarre reason, it was Bateman’s discourses on the merits of Whitney Houston, or the virtues of a particular cut of suit I thought of when I read a recent missive from the desk of the GAA / GPA on their new protein milk product with Glanbia.

Allow me to channel Easton Ellis for moment.

Did you know, Clive, that this new Avonmore Protein Milk Vanilla is a great tasting milk produced by one of Ireland’s best known and most trusted brands. It contains 27g of protein per serving with no added sugar, providing a convenient and easily accessible source of protein throughout the day for everyone who enjoys sport?

Seriously Clive, you didn’t know that?

Then you won’t have heard that GPA Chief Executive Dessie Farrell said, “As a leading international performer in the area of nutrition, our continued relationship to endorse Glanbia’s Avonmore Protein Milk is a perfect fit for the GAA and GPA. Sales of this healthy, Irish-produced product helps strengthen our Player Development Programme as we strive to make a meaningful difference to the off-field lives of our county hurlers and footballers. I’d like to thank Glanbia who continue to strengthen their long-time support of Gaelic games.”

Yes Clive, this is a chainsaw.

In fairness to our chums in the GPA, they haven’t yet sunk so low as to hook up with an official beer provider, but when you read this kind of prostration you do wonder if it is just a sense of latent decorum that is holding them back.

The question I can’t get my head around is why does the GPA need to initiate these abject corporate hook-ups? They are handsomely subsidised by the GAA and yet they insist on these incongruous ‘partnerships’. They’re ‘partnered’ with Best Menswear. What earthly relevance has that to the professed mission of GPA?

They actually answer the question of why they indulge in fund-raising on their website. I find it troubling reading.

“As with all non-profit organisations, with increased demand for services the GPA needs to look various different channels to support its work. The more players engage with GPA programmes and experience successful outcomes the more demand increases and the more revenue is required to fund this growth.”

This is a get out of jail free card as far as I’m concerned. Having your cake and eating it.

GAA is a sporting and cultural organisation. But it isn’t a sports business. The GPA’s long term goal is to turn it into precisely that. An organisation where the ‘elite’ players are paid and the GPA can gently evolve until we have our very own Gaelic Gordon Taylors to savour.

For those of us concerned about this potential inherent in the GPA, bringing the organisation into the GAA tent was supposed to be a way of safe-guarding amateurism. The GPA’s original plan seemed to be to  seduce inter-county players away from the Association and establish itself as an alternative centre of power which could either dictate to the GAA or, in extremis, set up a totally different administrative and competitive structure altogether, such as rugby league did when it parted ways with rugby union.

With the GAA at least ostensibly holding the purse-strings, the GPA’s Trojan horse strategy could be contained, or at least that seemed to be the thinking.
But with each passing year, it seems like the virus has taken hold of the host. The GPA takes the GAA hand out, but it still insists on sourcing external funding.

This is a beautifully double edged strategy. Not only does it build the GPA’s financial clout with the constituency it seeks to wean away from basic GAA values, it dirties the GAA hierarchy’s hands with the pursuit of money for money’s sake and dulls any ethical qualms they may continue harbour about such flagrant money grubbing. In the end, when the GAA goes professional it’ll all happen very calmly and quietly, and we’ll all wonder what the whole fuss was about.
In fact, when surface finally substitutes for substance, it will seem the most natural thing in the world.

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