Players should leave the aggression on the sidelines

In the recent final round of National League games involving Ulster teams, six black cards in total were issued.

The same weekend saw seven red cards dished out in the English football Premiership. Rugby too, sees its regular issue of sin bin and red cards.

In one Gaelic National League game, Donegal’s Neil McGee received a suspension while many Kerrymen escaped the referee’s wrath even though they repeatedly broke the game’s rules and the rules of sportsmanship. All these misdeeds suggest uncontrolled anger was the underlying cause. Anger is an Action Signal or Warning Emotion whose message tells us that an important rule/standard that you hold has been broken/violated by you or someone else. When this happens, do not react negatively but in a moment you can positively control this anger emotion.

In any sport, players know that if team-mates are playing poorly, not giving their all; if opponents are getting in your head; if coach is yelling at you, it can cause you to become angry which negatively affects your performance.

In a game, you as a player are either:

(i) Carefree – on fire;

(ii) Careful – standing nervous off an opponent thinking they’re better;

(iii) Careless – Aggressive/angry ready to be taken off or sent off.

So, before you – push an opponent back; yelling back at coach; arguing with team-mates; taking yourself out of game; getting sent off – simply act positively to turn Careless play into productive Carefree play. Instead of destroying your team’s chances by your uncontrolled anger, use a Positive Reaction to drive your team on, creating unity of purpose and win by your control of anger. Your anger warns you act positively.

Before you head for counselling, try these:

1. Anger is an emotion discharged from your ‘limbic system’, ie, your subconscious. So, initially pull your trigger, ie, shout inwardly ‘Stop’ or slap your thighs while shouting ‘Stop’. This brings you back into the now via conscious thought. Then, before you do anything angrily or irrationally, try self-talk, ie, talk out your strengths to yourself and start playing to them. Talk yourself out of your anger which lets you give your body a confidence boost that can make you run faster and play smarter. Your conscious mind thinks logically while your limbic controls your emotions/behaviours. So, when you know you’re off your game through anger, force a smile and pull your trigger – watch your attitude change if you do.

2. If an opponent tackles you heavily, gives you an elbow to the nose or knocks you over – don’t take it so personal. Try to understand your opponents, as you may have misinterpreted the situation and realise that they may not have intentionally hit you as hard as it seemed. If a ‘free’ kick has been given to you, then accept justice has already been served. If a ‘free’ has not been awarded to you, instead of then breaking your own rules and the game rules by retaliation (thus acting angrily/negatively), simply carry on with your positive game to your advantage. If you don’t learn how to let little, even great things go during the game, you won’t be able to jump back from it the entire game. If you persist with your angry reactions your coach/manager will see you as a liability whose actions are damaging team performance – you may find yourself no longer in the team.

3. Communicate, or learn to, with your team mates and coaches. Realise they see you as a valued member of the team and remember they do care for you. When you keep things bottled up inside that happened in training, another game or the first half of this game, it gets the best out of you and then your anger takes over. Something that was just a little annoying/upsetting to you turns you into a screaming or wrestling match before you’re red-carded. Asking for help from team mates helps change you. Let them call Pull your trigger when they see you losing control so that you stay on the pitch, through their help.
On the other hand, if you think one of your team mates needs to step up their game or stop fouling, let them know at half time/full time/in training in a caring positive way. Calmly approach them and let them know what you’ve been noticing, but don’t criticise as this starts rows. Remember target the performance, never the person. Each time record the lesson you learnt to unearth new ways of coping with anger. Positive self-talk, appreciating and promoting each other’s strengths and constantly reinforcing standards built a team which can cope.

4. If and when you ever break your own rules/standards, or the rules of the game through anger you should use the trigger – ‘Next’. Pulling the ‘Next’ trigger fires you into a positive focus on good play you are about to make. ‘Next’ involves:

(i) Next Ball – you win the next ball cleanly and legally;

(ii) Next ‘Five’ – the next five balls contested by you and your oponent, try positively, cleanly and legally to win all five. The very least you should win 3-2 from the five opportunities;

(iii) Next Whistle – every whistle blown between you and your opponent contesting the ball should be in your favor;

(iv) Next Man – move the ball on quickly and positively to a team-mate in a better position to bring advantage to your team and

(v) Next Move – be ready to play your part int he next game system move your team engages in. For each next, keep a mental score of the contest and focus on winning each contest handsomely by the time the game is over. This is ‘Thought Stoppage/Distraction’ in order to avoid anger and lets you play to your positive best.

So in the future, control your anger to control your game.