THIS IS EVERYTHING…You have been given your role, now you must not let your teammates down

IT’S impossible to settle. For League games, the knee doesn’t pulse up and down like this. In February and March you stroll about this
changing room like the coolest cat in town, not a care in the world. But not today. Today means a whole lot more.

The stakes have been raised and the tension is palpable. Everyone’s on their game more, you can see it, you can feel it.

Be it the kit man with the jerseys out earlier than normal, treating the new Championship rig with more care than he would a new born child.

Or the logistics manager, like a ticking time bomb, with the schedule etched into everyone’s mind, there is no second unaccounted for. Do not mess with the system today. Do not mess with us. The slightest issue will be met with aggression. It’s Alpha Male time in here.

We’re like the sniper lying in wait, dying to get our gun off. If you haven’t been in our circle in the past few months you’ve no place in here today, don’t even think about it, you’re not wanted. I’m ok with that. I embrace that mind-set. I feel it’s where I’m most comfortable.

Everyone’s routine is different but there is one constant in this room. Everyone’s on edge, it’s the only place you can exist and survive. This is the Ulster Championship after all, they talk about it everywhere else for a reason. Everything else is just kids’ play.

The closer it comes to throw in the more I want it to be over, win in the bag, pats on the back aplenty. You don’t want to think of the other scenario. Don’t deliver today and the next weeks of your life will be hell, a time when you question what it’s all about. You don’t want to go there, it’s not worth thinking about.

The final words mould into white noise. It’s a team game but this is the moment when I’ve got to be selfish, I’ve got to focus on myself now, My job is the most important thing from here on in. I do it and I do it well, I’ve no other play here, my back’s to the wall. I’m not gonna be the guy that everyone avoids eye contact with afterwards.

Leadership is taking care of your own performance; it’s the only way to really serve my team. It’s a phrase you hear over and over, “win your battle, win your battle.” I’ve got to win mine. Got to.

One last question, are you ready for this? I am. I’m not. How can you know if you’re really ready until it starts? There’s always that nagging doubt, that Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder who needs crushed. I crush him with the aggression in the room.

Like an elastic band I hit the field only to be snapped back to zero miles per hour for the photograph. This is another Alpha Male moment. The photographers want their picture. Me? I’ve not got time for that, my frustration builds with every millisecond I have to wait for the flash.

The disdain felt for these guys just trying to do their job is so outside the realms of reason it’s disturbing. But it’s a symptom of the day; this is the Ulster Championship after all…

As the huddle breaks the search begins, where’s he at? Now I’ve got you in my sights…This isn’t the greeting of long, lost friends. This handshake means nothing.

My gaze is fixed, and though I shake hands and feel my flesh gripping his there is no actual true connection. We nod at each other like old acquaintances passing in the street. The last acknowledgement of his existence as another human being.

I have no affinity with him whatsoever. If anything, I’m not even really there. I am somewhere else, thinking of that first ball, that opportunity to make the type of connection I’m interested in, preferably one that ends up with the ball in my hands and him in the middle of next week.

That may sound crude, but that’s irrelevant to me. Empathy for your fellow man goes out the window. This is the Ulster Championship, there’s no time left for fooling around.

There’ll be no mercy for anyone out here, least of all me if my new nemesis has his way. It’s on. It’s him or me and I’m not backing away from this one, I cant. It would be the greatest betrayal of my teammates I could make.

And I know he feels the same…And in those final moments before the ball is thrown in, you and the man you’re standing beside, your sworn enemy, the symbol of everything you hate, everything you’ve been waging war against since the draw was made six months ago, a lifetime ago… have more in common than anyone else in the world.
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